p4
Acid is a drug I believe helps reveal one’s thoughts and expressions faster than you normally would sober. Writing to me is equally strong as this drug we call acid. Writing has created more acceptance towards myself and relief has only followed. I discovered this relief during my senior year of high school. I woke up with a heavy chest and had no idea who or where to turn to for this ease. The only healthy idea I could come up with was writing in my journal. Within the next thirty minutes, my heaviness despaired.
My grand spectacle has yet to come. The way I am holding up this expectation so high in my head it seems so realistic for it never to come. But the hope I carry from this belief is all I need. Writing has given me hope. It’s hard for me to separate myself as a writer and as a person because writing is the reason for who I am today. I have accepted that writing is the only chance I have to be less oblivious, quiet, and misunderstood. I owe as much debt to writing then I do to my tuition at UMBC. I don’t need an essay to prove to myself that writing is changing or has changed me because I know this from my body and perception. I am mentally and physically healthier because of writing. However, it is nice to document this if I plan to ask myself this same question ten years later. Perhaps in ten years, I will say this same thing to ask myself later on, that there’s still more out there for me to learn. But my experience and judgments as a writer currently are really just at the beginning.
Many people in my life can view me as a negative person which I can be impeccably. And writing is the only thing that is attempting to pull me out of this bleakness. For now, writing has forced me to relearn the feelings of trust I have in myself. My confidence in myself is only growing and enhancing as I write this very sentence. I’ll be waiting for my thoughts, realizations, cringe, and awe in ten years.
Anjolie's Sake 